by Kirst on December 6, 2010
Hi Sweetheart,
It’s just after dinner on Thursday evening. Where do I start? What a day. Thank you for being so supportive when I called, that was such a blessing.
I had been reeling from the day’s events and the decisions weighing on my mind. Being able to talk with you is what I had craved. You are my partner, teammate and best friend…and I just wanted to dicuss things with you. Oh how I miss just being able to talk with you, in person and face to face. I value your opinion and input and feel lost sometimes because I don’t have you with me. God joined us together, so it feels foreign to not be near to you. Your reassuring tone and words of encouragement, like the confirmation I had made the right decision regarding the chow sever role, were exactly what I needed. Nothing else could satisfy that feeling of longing that I had. Thank you for loving me and being the strong shoulder when I needed it. I was barely keeping it together, so close to tears. My emotional state was not very steady, that is for sure.
Now that I think about it, I wasn’t much of a support for you. I think I monopolized the situation with my needs and never fully got to hear about your day. Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean for the phone call to progress that way. Please know, though, that I will be praying about the outbreak on the campus. And that you will be spared any of the discomfort and suffering associated with it. Actually it’s kind of like a mini disaster effort with everyone banding together to take care of the those afflicted. I think you mentioned the rapid response of the Gatorade team. Let the folks know the Bible Study will also be praying for them.
And once I hung up the phone I felt a great sense of peace and confirmation. It is such a gift for me to be a man/husband to know that his wife is proud of him and 100% behind him. But that gift can be achieved if the man is whole heartedly seeking God’s will in every decision. What I am trying to say is that I cherish your love and suport, it means the world to me.
And as an added confirmation that I had made the right decision on the chow sever job. I had two people wanting to talk to me immediately when I got off the phone. It took it as a sign that God was reaffirming my role as a sort of counselor here to these guys. Plus I had already had two other guys approach me earlier in the afternoon wanting to talk. I’m learning and growing too. An example of God’s divine wisdom. And that’s what really excites me anyway, listening to their cares and concerns and then offering them suggestions/advice based on Scripture.
I got to share with Cannon my joy in having a wife of noble character. He and I are good friends and close Christian brothers, so he’s heard me speak of you often. And as I shared with him my desire to talk with you and my need to discuss issues of my day with you, his image of Christian marriage came into clearer focus. The husband honoring the wife, and the wife honoring the husband, working through issues of life, each fully trusting in God’s perfect ways. What a neat thing for a young, single Christian man to be able to see. You may very well be a yard stick by which he measures his potential mate. And that, coupled with prayers, will get him the wife of his dreams!
I have a couple more stories to share, one with Tony and one with Arturo, but I’ll have to share them tomorrow.
Hold on…they just moved Carlos to another tank. I knew he had been without a cellie for 3-4 days, but I never even thought they might move him. Wow, what a shock. This is going to leave a big whole, this is going to hurt for a long while. I watched him walk out the door and I still can’t believe it. As he left I stopped to offer up a prayer for him. I pray that he is well received and that they see the benefit of the many things he brings to the table. Man, this is hard. I worshipped every day for the past four months with this guy. I am really going to miss him.
I’ll write more later, I have much praying to do before I go to sleep. Thank you, once again, for loving me so well.
I love you, Scott
by Kirst on November 16, 2010
Hi Sweetheart,
It’s just before dinner on Wednesday evening. Today has been busy. It started with a trip to the clinic to get a chest x-ray. When I had visited with the nurse on Monday, he had mentioned that he would be ordering it. He thought he had heard something when he listened to my lungs and ordered the x-ray just to be on the safe side. Being at the clinic was an experience in itself. There were guys sitting in the waiting area that had been there for hours. Thankfully I only had to site there through one episode of “Starting Over” and then one “Law and Order.” The cool part was I actually got to watch a whole episode of something, which is a rarity in here. In the tank the channel changes quite frequently.
Anyway, they took two quick chest x-rays and the the tech looked them over immediately. He though he saw bronchitis, but mentioned that the x-rays would be “read” later that day and I would find out in 3-4 days. So we’ll see.
The minute I got back into the tank, I was called out for an official visit. It was PI from Grover’s office. Grover had sent him to let me know in advance of the continuance that will be offered in court tomorrow. And while I am not any less happy about the decision, I appreciate the gesture. Grover didn’t have to do that, but I sense that that is just the way he operates. He is a real class act and very thorough. Again, I am glad that we have him on our side as a part of the team.
Now when I got back from my visit I was met with another challenge with my cellie. He has a way of getting himself into serious situations. This is definitely not a good place to be with a habit like that. I wound up spending quite a bit of time and effort mending fences. I’m not even entirely sure that things are smoothed over, probably just pacified. I’m praying that he leaves tonight for prison and that the problems leave with him. If he doesn’t leave tonight, the next possible days are Monday and Wednesday nights of next week. He just doesn’t have the ability to control his anger and allows people to get him riled up. I’ve been working with him to find alternate ways of dealing with difficult people, as well as productive ways to channel those feelings/emotions. But the lessons learned in this place don’t often come easy.
Here is a bright spot of the day. My name was submitted for a possible chow server. We’ll see what materializes. Let’s continue to pray that if it’s God’s will I will get it.
I really miss being able to talk with you. We haven’t had a one on one conversation in awhile. The way things have been operating around here lately, I really not sure when I’ll get the chance to call you late at night. Maybe this Friday or Saturday night, since we normally get to stay up later on those days. I just miss you and want to reconnect. Not being able to makes me feel incomplete, or out of step. Know what I mean?
OK, Scriptures from the day, found in James.
When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on Him, he will lift you up and give you honor. 4:10
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results. 5:16
That last one is one that I have had memorized for quite awhile now. It is also the verse that is on the bottom of that picture at the end of the hall by the kids’ rooms. I love that picture!
I’ll write more tomorrow. Please know of my deep love and respect for you. Kiss our babies goodnight for me.
I love you! Scott
by Kirst on November 12, 2010
Hi Sweetheart,
It’s just before dinner on Tuesday evening. The day has been good, but I am heavy-hearted. My conversation with Bob was a difficult one and not what I had anticipated. I am sorry that things are not moving as quickly as we had hoped. I pray that the Lord gives us reassurance that He is still in control. In my heart I know that He is faithful and has us in his care, but right now I am fighting my feeling of selfishness, just wanting to be home with you guys. I also know that we serve a God that can make the impossible possible, so I am not giving up hope on our speedy reunion. I’m confident that God wants me home with my family, but in His timing. I pray that He will continue to provide for us financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically as we seek to walk according to his timetable, His will. I also pray that He gives us comfort during the hard days, like today. And that we’ll be faithful to praise Him, whether we are in the valleys or on the mountain tops.
Jim shared a passage of Scripture with me today that I know was from the Lord. Amazing that God knew what we would be going through tonight, emotionally, and he used Jim to deliver the salve. It shouldn’t amaze me, but it does. Here is the Scripture:
Rejoice always,
Pray without ceasing,
No matter what happens, always be thankful,
For this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus
I Thes. 5:16-18
That last part is hard sometimes, always being thankful is a tall order. But it reminds me that I am not God, and that He knows the full picture and that He has our best interest in mind. I’m not privy to all of the things He has going on in the background and that I should just Be still and know that I am God. I need to simply trust that He is God and that His will will be done. Easier said than done sometimes, but this is when a person’s faith is really tested. This is when that trust in Him is built. This is when, if we are faithful, He will draw us near to Him and show us a part of His glory. Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly no fan of “patient endurance,” but I do know what that leads to. 2 Peter 1:5-8 tells us:
So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge ou our Lord Jesus Christ.
I want to, in the midst of this disappointment, keep proper perspective. I keep telling myself that this is just a season of our lives, and hopefully a short one, and that a month here or there in the grand scheme of things shouldn’t really upset me. But it does, I can’t help it. I don’t want to spend a second more away from you than I have to. So I will pray that God shows us both to do with these feelings, so that they can be productive and not destructive. We can’t let it derail us or sidetrack us from the work assigned to us by the Lord Jesus Christ. Acts 20:24
We need to remain strong in our resolve to press on, abiding in Him for the strength we’ll need. And I pray that His fingerprints were all over this situation. I am sure we will!
I’ll write more later. God has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He has brought, or actually carried, us this far so I will trust in Him to see it through. Let us count our many blessings, name them one by one, for we are truly blessed. Thank you Father!
Know that I am missing you tonight, wishing I could hold you in my arms. I will meet you in my prayers and see you in my dreams, my love.
I love you, Scott
by Kirst on November 9, 2010
Hi Sweetheart,
It’s just before dinner on Monday evening. It has been one of those days that really makes me glad I have the Lord. I’m always glad about that, but today I was especially glad. Ah, you know what I mean. The majority of the day, excluding the time at Bible Study, was spent cleaning up messes. I relied on the Lord’s wisdom to guide me and His strength to perservere. Looking back now upon the day’s events I feel like things turned out okay. Thank you Lord!
My Psalm reading for today was 89, 90 and 91. But I happened on Psalm 37, it was referenced in a devotional I was doing, and I was encouraged by these verses (5, 6 and 7):
Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust Him, and He will help you.
He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn,
and the justice of the cause will shine like the noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the Lord,
And wait patiently for Him to act.
The Psalms are always so encouraging and uplifting. I love reading them. Jim and I are both going through them right now and it has been fun to compare notes and share insights. I really look forward to our Tuesdays together.
I look forward to Tuesdays in general. Besides spending time in the Word with Jim, we usually have Bible Study in the “G” room with Chaplain Vince. It is so encouraging to be able to get together with a large (around 20) group of believers. We are finishing up our study on Ephesians and will be turning in our lesson sheets/homework tomorrow. I’m curious as to what book we will be studying next. I sincerely hope I am not here to complete it though.
I’m back. While I was writing to you I felt the Holy Spirit directing me to pray. There was no specific direction or name impressed upon me, so I just prayed. And as I prayed I felt a joy and peace filling me to overflowing. I must have prayed for 15 minutes. It felt so good I just kept going, feeling closer and closer to Him all the while. What an awesome God we serve! And of course, I prayed for all my little chickens.
I really enjoy making memories with you. We have some great ones! But I have a feeling that they are nothing compared to the ones we are still yet to make. God has some wonderful things in store for us, I am confident of this.
Gotta get this in the mail. Sorry the envelope feels so light. I’ll write more tomorrow. What a picture I have to paint–I’m in my cell, The Simpsons is blaring on the TV outside, my cellie is snoring, and I have a smile on my face because I am thinking of you. I just has to share that with you, hope it makes you smile too. Thank you for being you. And if nobody has told you today that you are beautiful, which is hard to believe, allow me to. You are beautiful! I am blessed to have you as my wife.
I love you, Scott
