sometime in september – inside/out

Hi Sweetie,

Quick story to share about the events of this afternoon.  I had spoken to Billy on the phone and had hung up a  little discouraged.  Billy just doesn’t have any “fire in his belly.”  In the face of adversity he crumbles.  I guess it is in his nature not to get up and fight.

Well, I went and sat down at the tables and began to worry about finances.  After a couple of minutes thinking about it and wondering how to make it all work, I realized what I was doing.  I immediately got up and started walking around the unit to pray.  God has been faithful to us up until now, what would make me think He will not continue to be there for us?  So I walked and prayed, prayed and walked, walked and prayed.

I asked for God’s forgiveness and for His guidance.  I had done what I had traditionally done–tried to tackle the problem without God.  I needed His forgiveness. 

As I was walking and praying one of my Chrisitian friends Chino approached me and asked, “what’s up?”  I told him that I was praying and then went into some of the details.  For the next 45 minutes we had a great conversation about God’s faithfulness and His timing.  Chino is 20 years old, a new Christian, and facing some prison time.  I’m amazed God knows what we need when we need it.  Chino was God’s servant of encouragement.  Our God is awesome.

I just got back from a visit with my mom and dad.  Bob S. had accompanied them out here.  That was a nice surprise.  Mom and Dad passed the phone around a lot.  I talked with Dad 3 times, Mom 4, and Bob twice.  Bob mentioned to me that he would be coming back to visit again.  He said some nice things about me and about the witness that I am to many people at their church.  Although I am excited about God working through my circumstances to reach others or to deepen relationships, I am a “work in progress” at best.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I always want the praise and glory to be His.  And you know me,  I am a behind the scenes kind of guy.  (I have a hard time accepting compliments.)

Dad mentioned that he felt a real peace today.  And I shared with him the events of my afternoon.  We cried, but just a little.

My mom again asked me if there were any young men who needed a visit from a “mom and dad.”  I smiled and told her I would check, not really even giving it much thought.

Well, when I got back from the visit the deputy was passing out mail.  I received two from you, one from Grandpa and one from Scott and Felicia.  When I collected my letters and started back over to my cell to read them I was interrupted by Ray.

Ray is a 22-year-old who has been in here for 2 years.  He is still just a kid.  He is 5′7″ and 270 lbs.  When he smiles his whole face lights up.  And although he is pretty street wise, his social skills and maturity level are that of a boy.  This is a place for men.  My heart aches for this kid. 

Back to my story.  Ray stops me and inquires about my mail.  “Who’s it from?”  “Do you have any pictures?”  That sort of thing.  I asked if he gets mail.  He answered, “It’s been awhile since I got any.”  My heart sank.  He then asked me, “How was your visit?”   I told him who had come to see me and then proceeded to ask him if he gets visits.  He shook his head no.  My heart sank further.

But then it raced with excitement when I remembered what my mom had just asked me.  I told him about my parents and that they would welcome the opportunity to visit with him.  His face lit up with a huge grin and he said, “That would be great!”  I nearly jumped out of my skin with excitement and praise.  The Lord had been fast at work and I was lucky enough to be a part of it.  I will call them tomorrow to let them know.

The Deps didn’t let us back out after count.  That has me pretty bummed.  I had waited all day to call you, to talk to my sweetgirl, and now I am not going to be able to.  This lack of structure, of not being able to count on anything, accept for being awakened at 4 AM for breakfast, takes its toll on me sometimes.

Please tell Scott and Felicia that I truly appreciate the letters they send.  I am trying to write everyone back, and I will do it eventually.  I try to do 1-2 return letters a day, but I have missed a couple of days.  I just want them to know their letters are a testimony to me.  They are good friends.

One of your cards contained the card you wrote me the night I was arrested.  I showed it to my cellie, Phillip.  We both agreed it was pretty special!  I love the words on the front of the card.  Is that a homily?  That’s kind of a wierd question, isn’t it?  I’ve kept all of your cards and read them frequently.  Thanks for loving me so much.  You are the woman of my dreams and the best friend a man could have.  I love you Kirsten Noel.

Love Always, Scott

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